Uncertainty and ambiguity are strange things, they keep you guessing and in the last few weeks it’s not been pleasant. I hate waiting for something to happen unless it’s a surprise that will put me in the seventh heaven.
There are times when you wonder if life is serious enough to be taken seriously. If the things around you are worth your smile and laughter is worth sacrificing for anyone or anything. What happened is over, what is going to happen, no control. But whatever is happening what about that, what if it is keeping you on the edge of a five storied building looking down and anticipating the repercussions.
I am clueless and confused; a very normal state for me to be in, not at all surprising. I was told that I am very vulnerable to things and people around me. I understand the implications of that statement. I have that bad feeling in the stomach, the gut feel of things going terribly wrong, spinning out of control. I can’t interfere, I cannot do anything to bring it back and all I can do is wait. For everything to straighten out and for life to feel like it’s worth living again.
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