Revealing Reflections!

It was a short little walk. From the car to yoga class, just about four minutes. It was a monsoony evening typical of Bangalore. The clouds catching the rays of the sun as it dipped into its golden red broth far away at the horizon. The moon nicely basking in the sunlight and smiling down all gibbous and bursting, like it was time to kiss goodbye to dusk and welcome the darkness of the night.

I walked slowly taking it all in and thinking of what had happened to me all day. I had come back to where I was a year ago, running and hopping from one place to another counting my time and money by the minute of the hour. I had looked at my watch a dozen times every hour or so and i had covered college, work and yoga all in a tangle of today and this was just the beginning. I had so much work I logged in from home and every time the thought of ‘oh I’ll do that in the morning came up’, I’d end up realizing that the mornings were now sorted into classes. From Muay Thai at six to college that ended by half past three.

Reminded me of times when I would have my tiny book all filled up with appointments and people to meet for business or to collect payments or new prospects and clients. That was when I drove all over town running my own little errands. That was when I taught theater and danced, when I wrote and free lanced, anchored and managed events ad did every odd thing that I fancied. That was not like now though, now it’s much altered. I am doing what I want to and what I have chosen to. My days are just as packed as they used to be, but there is a pattern here. I know what is happening tomorrow, I can dance to the rhythm of it with ease.

I don’t know if I should be excited by a change I anticipated or I should be very Miss Cool about it. I know what I am planning to say no to tomorrow. I am refusing to go perform a dance I am going to Choreograph. Otherwise, under old normal myself circumstances, I would have jumped at the very thought of going back to the stage and feeling all the madness in my veins and the head rush. But I will have to make do with the borrowed euphoria of the team if they go on and win the competition and resign myself to the fact that it is time to say no and to priorities work and college and juggle all that without burning myself out.

Wow! A three minute walk and so much revelation, truly amazing. Well, what can I say, I see someone is growing older and warming up to words like priority and responsibility and what can be done and what is humanly impossible to get done. I believe I am Super girl, but how and when and where will I draw a line?