The temperatures were surprisingly very well behaved. The weather was actually brilliantly drizzly and there was absolutely no hint of bad sweaty heat. The train drew into the station and I got off with that wistful longing to climb right back in and just drift with the train and get off only when I felt like and was not really forced to get off.
Embarking on journeys to God’s own country has always been very interesting for me. My mood relies entirely on where I am going and the agenda. This was not a vacation although I was on leave and I dreaded the whole change of pattern. If I was on a visit to travel and explore, I’d have jumped and rushed into it. This was a visit to family and that meant about fifteen houses and socializing for four days.
Now, the people in Kerala and from Kerala are very strange, bordering on weird almost. They are hospitable and nice but that is only because they make money from tourism. They will never indulge in anything that is even remotely non profitable for them. They have strange tastes and eat coconut laden food and have coconut entwined into every dish possible. Surprisingly, their cholesterol levels are not so high; this could be because of the fish they eat all year long.
I am a mallu, but not the best example by far lengths, to call me a mallu would be committing sacrilege. With a mother brought up in Bangalore and ancestors scattered across the world, I have only a small segment of paternal and maternal relatives in Kerala. The fact that I have absolutely no mallu characteristics and tastes is of great pride to me and the same factor is just as disappointing. My paternal side is staunch Hindu Brahmin and they were the people who owned temples and played priests in the temples. This makes my mother’s Nair characteristics and matriarchal society hand me downs that I possess very alien to my paternal relatives.
They are very simple loving people, but can be very conventional and can be amazed at lifestyles that are extravagant and urban. The way I live and my choices and likes and dislikes are strange according to them. Everyone from my dad’s family brought up outside of Kerala, retain all elements of malluness. I am the aberration and in this case it is not a nice thing to be.
Pallakkad, my native land. The land of heat and boredom, and the driest part of Kerala, dry in all senses of the word. This could be because of the Tamilnadu connection, Coimbatore is right next door you see. Jokes apart, Pallakkad is not really the best of places to visit in Kerala, it’s got no beaches or coastline, there are not too many resorts, and it is not a hill station either. There are places you can go to if you are forced to live here, not the greatest of choices but the Malampuzha dam and fantasy park and of course the trekking up Dhoni mala (mountain). Yes I belong here somehow, through whatever the connection.
One of the things that have really intrigued me about Kerala is how the people manage to have working olfactory systems. The men are constantly sweating and so are the women, the women are worse off because of the horrid bathing system they have going. Hair that is well oiled and then washed, with not enough shampoo to rinse off the oil, then it is not dried entirely and then left wet and long, and tied badly so its dripping with oily water and mingled with sweat. What a pain to walk along streets with coconut oil smells seeping out from shops and people. Looks like the Dubai influence has not really been of any good to the mankind here, I don’t really see rather smell any perfume around here.
This whole smell related chapter in my brain gave me a brilliant business idea, how about starting a soft skill training school on how to smell good or ten ways to reach your perfumed best. But then I realized, like the perfume on you that you can never really ever smell, like the stench of Chennai the folks there never sense, the same holds good for the people here as well, this sweaty coconutty smell is inherent in their daily lives. They don’t even recognize or feel it. It only seems strange to us outsiders as to how anyone can get close enough to another person for anything at all. I have no clue. ;)
The men here are completely egoistical and believe they are god’s gift to mankind; it’s true that every single man on earth believes that this is so, but it’s a tad over the top in mallu men. They letch and ogle at anything that is remotely female. If you are dressed smartly, forget everything else, just smartly can attract so much attention, you will wonder if you were the only woman in planet Kerala. They cannot stop at just using their eyes to strip you and make you feel like an object and violated, they also use their smart ass tongues or so they believe it to be, the bloody bas*****. If you say something in return then they laugh stupidly and move away but the problem is when you are with your family and expected to behave you have to ignore them and walk on like nothing happened. Women’s lib, my foot. But I have great mallu male friends, but all of them, have spent some part of their lives and have been educated outside of Kerala.
If you can ignore the malluness of mallu land to a great extent, or are oblivious to it because thankfully you don’t understand the language, you can enjoy your visit and go back feeling good about the nice things in Kerala, yes I do agree, Kerala has its upside too. Wayanad for instance, will always be close to my heart and regarded with utmost love and special treatment in my mind. After all it is the memory that makes or breaks a place for you…
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