hark! Infidel!

A couple of days ago I met yet another third rate two timing bas****. I told him that and also that i thought his wife was no good because she married him in the first place. I was as rude as I could get and my tongue was so sharp and lashing throughout and in retrospect, I know I wasted my words and thought on another infidel.

The man in question fell in love with his wife when she was sixteen and a decade later, married her. Seven years into wedlock with a son to add to the equation, he had the audacity to sit with his drink and coolly state that his wife could not give him everything, so he went to other women for excitement. “I love my wife, but she can’t give me what I want, I want girlfriends, because they wear short dresses, rub me around and dirty dance with me and they are not shy, ”he said, I knew I wasted my vehemence.

“She’s been gymming for years but she can never have a waist like yours,” was the next statement, it was getting beyond tolerance levels. I had met so many like him through my years in the industry and I had been approached in even worse ways. However, to know that this someone was not a client or a business associate and was a friend of a friend was putting off. I mean what is with this world and infidelity.
I wrote up something for a newsletter called The Write Angle about infidelity and here it is:

The flowers, candlelit dinners, vacations, surprise presents and wooing is all passé, what a woman has to expect today and be extremely content with if her expectations are met, is fidelity from her man. Straying men and women have always existed and affairs are no longer ‘eyebrow rising’ factors in India. The number of people who are in serious relationships and marriages still look for the occasional or ever so frequent fling.

The office and work atmosphere affairs are ever so common and indulgence is easy. “We find condoms in our trash every other day and they come in from different sections of the office, the office is open round the clock and management cannot be keeping tabs and put more than the necessary number of security guards on the job.”, says Radha Srikanth, an HR manager in a reputed BPO.

“I love my wife, but she cannot give me everything I want, so I look for it outside and I find girlfriends easily enough. My wife does not have a clue and I make sure I do everything right to not let her know.” says Viji, a businessperson in the city.
Most men in serious relationships expect their wives and girlfriends’ to be the epitome of fidelity and even state proudly that they are men and are allowed to stray whereas my woman belongs only to me. “I will kill her if she as much thinks of another man,” says the straying Viji when asked how he would react if the circumstances were to be reversed.

Prostitution gives men who do not have the time for affairs the vent to their straying nature. “Sex is different, sleeping with someone other than my wife is entertainment for me and as long as I love my wife, I don’t see taking on paid services from a sex worker for a one night stand as a problem,” says Manjunath, a travels owner.

Fidelity in marriage is becoming questionable as both the sexes look for opportunities to stray. The stress of work, the need for excitement or just an immediate gratification of desire could be the cause of the increasing number of people looking for a fling outside their relationships.
There are people who do not buy into the idea although they are surrounded by infidels and cuckolds. “As long as you feel you are hurting someone, you should not. The definition of infidelity is not just a physical manifesto,” says Vishwas Kulkarni, Project Manager, OFSS.

“When love becomes labored we welcome an act of infidelity towards ourselves to free us from fidelity,” said the French author François de la Rochefoucauld.

Fidelity and infidelity are now grey areas and people have varying perspectives of acceptance and non-acceptance.

I have a lot more to say about this but I shall refrain for lack of patience with the topic and time…